peachy keen

i am in my prime.last night i rediscovered how to guffaw.when things fall into place,the world smiles.the key is to relish the moment,sit through the wake of opposing memories to come,and embrace the next reverie.

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i am also testing blogger apps,in an attempt to find an efficient one...

the quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog?

welcome back.

i took a huge hiatus from being tied to the world,and the world surely has suffered for it.i am recommitting myself to writing,exploring,experiencing,loving...okay,so basically i am recommitting to writing,i do the rest already.i have been to la and sd so many times this summer my head lost count! i am itching for a museum trek. i am taking a lazy day today,however...light gymming,gq reading,pride+prejudice watching(colin firth edition),and intense napping.

expect a flurry of words to come soon!

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and when i see you i see my future...

there are two basic things about my everyone should know:
1) since the day i discovered boys at the age of four, i have been obsessed.
2) since the day i became obsessed, i have been given a terrible curse: to be successful in befriending them, but unlucky in love.

i do not understand how the laws of mutual attraction work into my life

to do list for the year...

so, last year i had made a list of things i wanted to accomplish, and i proved successful...i am bored and this will probably put me to sleep...list time!

+ buy whiteboard.attach to fridge.write"days without malady".eraser and start over reach time gramma falls ill (or just falls)
+ go to at least three different museums this year (the getty being one of them)
+ go camping again.bring percy.and more quarters.
+ start, finish, and comprehend "naked lunch"
+ carry frodo up mount doom so he can return the ring
+ get all a's
+ procrastinate less
+ buy polaroid film, take more pictures, scrapbook more
+ grow some balls, ask a guy out
+ realize that's the guy's job
+ rewrite social and gender conventions, but hope someone beats you to it
+ take a summer road trip
+ begin to learn one legitimate language, master a fictitious one
+ learn to stop worrying
+ take advantage of free gym time
+ stay lazy
+ begin using paper journals again religiously
+ embrace the egocentricity within and don't feel bad for blogging
+ resume going to musical shows aka concerts
+ memorize the gettysburg address...for fun
+ love the bomb
+ take more adventures with people
+ turn more people on to sea salt iced coffee, even though coffee isn't your thing
+ learn to read minds
+ make a sandcastle (in the sand)
+ red pill
+ go to movies @ hollywood forever
+ be happy
+ go to bed at a decent hour
+ don't eat yellow snow

someday, someone will find this list entertaining...

horrible blogger

i am a terrible blogger.not because i make horrible blogs, but because i have been so infrequent....therefore, in keeping with the spirit of lengthy rambling blogs, i shall present to you....bullet points! huzzah!

*i am alive.i am also dealing with a tumbling of emotions where i wonder what the hell i have been thinking in terms of my life.i am older, but i highly doubt that makes me wiser...

*speaking of being older, i had a birthversary(because really, the word "birthday" only truly applies to the day we exit the womb,right?).on my real day i had a tremendous celebration.it floored me.it involved fried chicken and waffles, which i am waiting to be reuinited with once more.i even dressed up a bit.although, in true anne form, my jeans proved to be(no exaggeration) four sizes too large...talk about a wardrobe malfunction! i quickly changed to something more appropriate.

*i also celebrated with a family dinner,which was quaint and involved sushi...nothing really can go wrong there.

*then there was the friends dinner.this one is usually a doozy.typically, i invited all my friends who have never met and will most likely never get along...this time almost every person clicked! success! the ones that didn't....well,i was expecting that, so i was not really upset.i was humbled that my friends bought me this.his name is perceval.i call him percy.

*then my grandmother + dog became ill/injured/both and that was hell to deal with(both are okeedokee now!)

*other than all these things, it's finals week...so stressful!thoughts are swirling in my head,decisions that have been made will open up windows for decisions someone else needs to make...oh,being cryptic is fun.

last fm saved my life! and continues to save it daily. in fact, you should read/listen up to my radio preferences

*did i mention that i am amazing?

*if someone can find me someone reputable to make out with,please help.



allegedly i look like this with some wind,a high angle, and a color filter.

the love song of anne c banks

this is my new goal to partake in with zoe

hello,it's been awhile.i really haven't had much to blog about...maybe i can bullet point some highlights?

*school
*reading for school
*summer school registration
*school

...patterns are beginning to take over my life!

my birthversary is in two days.i am nervous with excitement.not over the prospect of getting older,but because it is the one day where i am completely okay with being self centered.my only goal is to make this birthday count.i let things get in the way of ruining this one day of unadultered selfishness,and i ruined it for a selfish reason,and misery ensued.that is not happening this year.



this is what love looks like in confectionary form.

what i want most this year is stability.i want the people who say they believe in me to stick by me so i can believe their words.i want to know what it is to be loved.oh wow,that sounded juvenile....okay,i'll settle for a pony!

(also,is it too wrong to hope for a decent date with someone that isn't one of my gal pals?i love them dearly and i love that they get me,but seriously...i need a man.)

here's to eating peaches,coffee spoons,rolled trousers,michelangelo,mermaids,lady's arms,rambling and forgetting where you are in a story,and not meaning that at all!

new beginnnings?

....so this is what i've been working on looking like for the past year or so....





the other day,my gramma decided i would get an early birthday present!i have been planning on donating my hair, but was not sure when it would happen....



good bye, tresses!



....hello,you saucy minx with the raspberry do,you!

i am please.amused one would even say.this weight of the hair being off me is also purely metaphorical.after my last blog post, i was messing around with a friend writing emerson quotes back and forth and stumble don one regarding one's worth.it makes me happy that ralph waldo and i are on the same page.

slowly,gradually,i'm getting better at that whole "self realization" shebang.i recently saw a dear old friend that i met when i went to italy fresh out of high school.she helped me open myself up and let loose(but not go wackadoodle crazy) and discover who i wanted to be.seeing her again reminded me of how i used to be,and how i have come a long way from that person.

i just hope i keep going!

and all the rest

man alive it's been a boring weekend.

calculating your worth is a really tricky thing.my birthday is coming up,and usually i go a little invite crazy.i generally feel bad if i don't include people, and therefore i invite a lot of people.last year, about twenty people showed up at my house.all my friends,acquaintances,etc.it was fulfilling that so many people wanted to come celebrate with me(or eat free food)...but i felt that because there were so many people,and of different interests it was a little strained to make connections with everyone.this year i went sensible.and the results are a tad interesting.

i am the easiest person to befriend.i get along with nearly anyone(so long as they have some sense of intelligence and are not a flaming racist among other things)...unfortunately,i also serve as the wet blanket of all my friends.you know what i'm referring to.i'm that friend.the one that reminds you of all your tasks,calls when you need a wake up call, and is also the friend you call when all your other friends can't do anything with you.that's me for a majority of people i've "befriended" over the years.i also have a difficult living situation that prevents me from going places and at hours when it's more convenient for others.i struggle to determine whether i have any friends i can really count on.

that brings us to this year.this was a good year for friends.if one was to look at the people i've decided to invite to my birthday....cassie and robyn would be the only people i was friends with last year...i have made some really strong bonds this year.i still struggle with knowing how much they appreciate my presence,but i think i am finally seeing that i am capable of having relationships with people.

...in order to get me to this point,i should explain that i have never...ever...ever had great self esteem.i didn't think anyone deserved to be my friend(this includes faint of intellect and blatant bigots) because i had nothing to offer.it's still a learning process,but i am at least at the point where i can recognize that yes, i do have good qualities.how i got here is a totally other story.

all i can say is that the bonds we make with people are only as strong as we are as people.if we are weak of spirit, then we will view our friendships as weak.so stay strong,see not only the good in others,but in yourself...i guarantee, you are worth it!(except you,racists and ignorant beings..you're kind of hopeless)

smirkday

i would just like to say that i make amazing mixes of the musical variety.currently blogging to the tune of "ode to lrc"by that loverly band of horses...yesterday proved to be an incredibly amazingly eye opening day.rekindled a friendship,strengthened another,tested a budding one,and forged a partnership.all with different people.yesterday's events inspired my goings on for today.zoe(of zoe upside d o w n fame),her man matt,and i had lunch and went into aaron brothers,where i was inspired to really hone my crafting hobby.i decided that it would be a lot more intimate and memorable if i annemade my birthday invites to my friends.i sat down and decided i wanted a failry small group of people attending....and i went to a different aaron brothers today and bought the necessary supplies! i want to post them, and will identify some of the receipiants....i won't reveal the invites of those who are invited and read my blog,secrecy is key!haha....let's see if i'm savvy enough to get this to work...hmmm..



this is for my jadey jade jade because someday she'll be a star...



this is ryan's...i know he "follows" my blog,but quite frankly,i don't think he reads it,he just joined to shut me up.he gets a fishie charm in memory of the poor lil' one we massacred at bcd...



robyn's!i know she reads this,too,but i know she's so busy there's no way she'll catch this on the weekend...



i think it's pretty clear that samson gets birthday invites with skeletons in it.and vintage ads..because he's a dandy,



this goes to a fellow blogger+reader.and i adore her.




another blogger+reader that i heart.i hope she likes this...



greg gets a hodgepodge...because,well...that's how we roll!



...and finally,my sassafrass'!(that would be cassie's)she gets the whimsy children because she is a bit whimsy herself...


i am so proud of these...i want to make more things!

shmoo

i am bursting.i had heard about the shmoo from a friend i went to high school with...for some reason,i remembered the name yesterday...i am beyond familiar with al capp,but never really read his comics...although had i been more familiar with them,the fact that my grandfather used to tell people he was from "lower slabovia" would have made more sense(it's a "lil' abner reference")...anyway,i looked up the entire history of the shmoo and am in love.i want to ask my grams if i can order the book(i can tell her believeably that since it is an allegorical story,it will completely pertain to any philosophical higher learning i plan on persuing)...

i just really had to share with my blog+fan club.

i behold thee to a standard that is fit for the heavens...

okay,i have something to admit(partially)...i sparingly watch television at it's regular hours(although i am now a huge fan of "parenthood",but that shall come later),and usually watch it as a time killer or as a means to get me to go to bed.i do like television shows,don't get me wrong.i just watch those on my own time and generally over the summe rin the form of boxed sets.anyway...

there is a show on a network made for cable that is a reality/documentary show.it is hosted/created by and stars a particular "musician/celebrity" that i do not endorse or enjoy very much.the reason i shamefully yet shamlessly watch this program is due to the subject matter....it is a show that chronicles the concept of beauty throughout the world(most of you have probably guessed the show and are sneering,please keep reading)

i am obsessed with beauty.when i say that, i don't mean that i am looking for the cheapest surgery or the latest fad diet to get me looking hollywood ready.what i mean is that i am obsessed with the concept and question of "what makes a person beautiful to another?" this fascinates me.i realize that what i find beautiful to me is not always the case with another.and i am not just referring to humans-clothing,art,music,puppies,the whole shebang!i do try to take care of myself, as i do believe in the "healthy body,healthy attitude,healthy life" mantra.i take good care of my skin, but that is mostly because it is important to treat your body every now and again...i eat moderately well and healthy,and i do try to exercise, although years of not doing so and having a lazy constitution have taken their tolls...

this brings me back to my fascination with this show.i like that it is program on a mainstream network that at least shows people living in a shallow box that beauty comes from all over the world and is in many shapes,sizes, and colors...i love hearing about rituals and outfits and customs from afar.i want to visit these places and see what other people see,feel what they feel,bask in their energy!
i realize this is an ages old lesson and it seems a bit silly for me to tout this program,but let's face it....at least more people are actually paying attention to this.i actually feel good about myself after watching one of these episodes.i realize that there really is more than what meets the eye.

i have always known that,as i try to see/find beauty in everything.for me,a person's beauty stems from who they are as a person.if they are good looking on the outside with a rotten personality...eeeeeh,not so good looking anymore.i want to believe most people,especially the intellegent ones are like this, but sadly it is nto the case. i've almost found that my more intellegent friends(some of which,in society's mind may not be so so attracticve)are even more shallow than i ever could have thought.it's sickening.

i am a victim of being shallow as well.mine comes in the form of thinking that if i look a certain way,then shallow people will find me attractive.to me,it's a form of be being shallow.i want to lose some extra weight,but mostly it's because i plan amazing outfits in my head that i would liek to wear in real life...i should probably learn to sew to accomplish this....oooh,i'm rambling

not to sound like a song by another pop artist i am not a fan of, but there is beauty everywhere.i applaud the people who look for it,find it,and embrace it.i am humbled to have such stunningly amazing friends.i look at each one and am in awe of the presence they each have.to me,every one of my friends is lovlier than a rose.and they smell even sweeter.i am proud of them for being beautiful in their own ways,with their individual quirks and talents,and for embracing me,idiosyncrasies and all.

now when i see myself,it is not with a smirk,but with a smile....

lights!camera!.....agencies?

so today in acting,we read from scenes from "revolutionary road".our instructor told us to make sure to dress 50's(hence the hair)...from our auditions,the top 4 girls and guys would be picked by the directing classto be shot...anyone not picked is filmed by maria,our instructor..in addition,we also had our headhsots taken today...double the nerves,double the...fun?

well,jade and i were the only two to really pull it together 50's steezy.we felt a tad silly.she pulled out an awesome audition...i actually thought i did rather well,but alas,was not picked by the directors.oh well.

however,i was relived that the headshots went better than expected.also,i met with maria to go over my progress.she had very positive things to say,and let me know that 1)i should go into theatre because i have a knack and 2)to please sign with an agency because i am ready to go.i am humbled.

....must..practice..lines...

not only do i have "revolutionary road",but i also have a scene from "pulp fiction" to memorize..eeep!

a brief conversation with neanderthals

this is a photo of a very nice kleenex box....this box inspired this conversation at the grocer:

bagger (middle aged woman)-my, what a nice pattern!

cashier (young male)-yeah, it looks like ed hardy's artwork!

bagger-oh, is his artwork popular?

cashier-definitely, i mean, i can get his stuff for cheap at ross, normally it's like a hundred bucks!

bagger-are these lithographs or original prints?

cashier-i don't think he makes lithographs, but at ross you get originals!

bagger-well, i am glad the youth of today knows about art...do you know who this artist is, sweetie?: looks to me:

me-he designs gaudy tee shirts that aren't even worthy of carrying the name art.i'd rather be in a room of nagel prints for eternity.good day!


...really?ed hardy,oh,i'm sorry."don" ed hardy isn't even an artist!!!his brilliant designs are done by one christian audiger who is so greasy looking,he makes john galliano look like a well manicured man...although,it should be noted,galliano can design)cone bras cicra 1994,anyone?)i just really hope that remark wasn't meant to engage me,since like hairgel and affliction shirts,ed hardy also extablishes assholes from a mile away(1/3 of this joke is stolen from demetri martin,which in turn is probably stolen from the spirit of mitch hedberg{rip})

i realize i may not be one to bag on the fashions of others,since generally i can be found in tee shirts and jeans,but ed hardy?really?tiger/wolf/lion shirt motifs are only acceptable if they are tacky zoo souvenir shirts or clearly someone else's tacky zoo souvenir shirt.

...i do have a zoo pass...hmmm...

it conquers all,it is in the air we breathe,we want it even if we lose it,it turns a sane person mad,and yet it is all we need

it's love.the other day in humanities, our prof started asking us all questions about this concept...it stemmed from beginning to learn about the romantics,and what really constituted romantic love..unfortunatel,he tried calling on me to answer the question "can one find love on this school campus?is it possible to meet your soulmmate at a college such as the one we attend?"...i answered very basically that love is everywhere,and is found in the most unexpected places...i had so so much more to contriubute to this topic.i wish we had talked more, but i have a very non participating class....i don't think the concept or the idea of romantic love has left society,but i do however thinkthat the subjective idea of what is romantic has changed.i think it's become more tailor made and personal.one student referred to candle light dinners...now see,i don't want that.for one thing, that's a fire hazard.for another,i'm just really not into candle lit dinners.although,you'd think i would be,since candle light is one of the more flattering lighting sources...i'm getting off topic..what i wanted to pose as a question to the class(but didn't)was this:if we surveyed every girl in the room,how many of them would share the idea of what a perfect date(preferably first)would be like?i would have been very interested in hearing the girls tell their versions of realistic first date ideas,then survey the guys and compare and contrast.i think as society has broadened,so have not only oppourtunities with love,but creativity in expressing a want to share/begin/confront/entertain the idea of love...

(oh,for the record,my ideal realistic first date could go north or south...)
*north would involve a wonderfully musiical road trip to la,where we would visit a museum for a few hours,maybe have a snack,drive and walk down melrose maybe and try on silly vintage frocks before having dinner at somewhere really romantic...like roscoe's house of chicken and waffle!...then if i'm lucky we go to the argyle or some other swanky theatre for an awesome movie(not before stopping off at amoeba first of course)and then getting a bite at swinger's..or cupcakes....

*south would also involve a musical road trip,this time to san diego for a picnic in the glorious sprwaling balboa park.this one would involve a walk around the park,possibly a trip into one of their museums(if i was really lucky it would involve the neighboring zoo!)and then a small drive up to hilcrest where we could peruse shops,maybe go into the 2nd hand bookstore...and then have dinner at the lovely pizza fusion..but we won't get too full because then we'll drive down to the gaslamp district,walk around,and totally pig out on sundaes at ghirardelli's...

i have a feeling that what i think is a really low key fun day date would probably intimidate and scare the crap out of every guy in the universe.i just feel that maybe dates should be a little more creative than "dinner and a movie"...i live in southern california,and although even i complain there isn't a ton to do in my area,these at least offer a wider span of options,no?




...all this talking about "love" got me going off on tangents.sure,i've been in love before,and yes,i had a relationship one many many moons ago...but how then does mutual attraction really work?i seem to understand it when it applies to two other people,but somehow i haven't honed down the "mutual" aspect of attraction when it comes to me.i think that may be true of most people though,which is why a lot of people are oblivious when someone does in fact like them.i am regarded (by some)to be a romantic cynic.i think i am less cynical and more realistic about things,and that realism makes people think i am nonchallant about the concept of love.it's quite untrue.i do,however have about 22 out of my nearly 27 living years experience in love/lust/platonic feelings/....i have been struggling with this concept since the day i met eric dubhorn in kindergarten!and since michael zoppi's greand rejection of my advnaces at the tender age of sevem,i have been trying to avenge younger anne's defeat.i don't think i'm doing too well,though.

i'm just really impatient.i am still reeling from my the third largest rejection in my life that occurred last year and have done a lot to work on myself(because obviously,somewhere along the line,awesome as i am,i need some work...did i mention i talk too much,which is an issue for most guy?).i'm just tired of interpreting the little coincedences that only mean something to me,tired of making incredibly strong platonic connections that don't seem to go anywhere.i think it's about time the universe owe me one and sends me a completely romantically unromantically inclined man.i think i deserve it.

i just want to believe i'm worth it.

computer lab rant

sitting in the computer lab,trying to not knock over anything...watching zoe(of zoe upside down fame)look at her facebook pictures...i probably should have gone to the village to watch andrew edit our scene...i would rather be surprised, though...especially since he added a gag reel mostly of me making faces at the camera whilst pretending to pick my nose.now i must prepare for a lesson in poe(complete with power point!) i need to figure out my birthday plans...

salutations and the like

i guess this is my first post.it won't be very exciting,as i am leaving in a few minutes...i guess this is just the test one,and hopefully my posts will become more and more interesting....