okay,i have something to admit(partially)...i sparingly watch television at it's regular hours(although i am now a huge fan of "parenthood",but that shall come later),and usually watch it as a time killer or as a means to get me to go to bed.i do like television shows,don't get me wrong.i just watch those on my own time and generally over the summe rin the form of boxed sets.anyway...
there is a show on a network made for cable that is a reality/documentary show.it is hosted/created by and stars a particular "musician/celebrity" that i do not endorse or enjoy very much.the reason i shamefully yet shamlessly watch this program is due to the subject matter....it is a show that chronicles the concept of beauty throughout the world(most of you have probably guessed the show and are sneering,please keep reading)
i am obsessed with beauty.when i say that, i don't mean that i am looking for the cheapest surgery or the latest fad diet to get me looking hollywood ready.what i mean is that i am obsessed with the concept and question of "what makes a person beautiful to another?" this fascinates me.i realize that what i find beautiful to me is not always the case with another.and i am not just referring to humans-clothing,art,music,puppies,the whole shebang!i do try to take care of myself, as i do believe in the "healthy body,healthy attitude,healthy life" mantra.i take good care of my skin, but that is mostly because it is important to treat your body every now and again...i eat moderately well and healthy,and i do try to exercise, although years of not doing so and having a lazy constitution have taken their tolls...
this brings me back to my fascination with this show.i like that it is program on a mainstream network that at least shows people living in a shallow box that beauty comes from all over the world and is in many shapes,sizes, and colors...i love hearing about rituals and outfits and customs from afar.i want to visit these places and see what other people see,feel what they feel,bask in their energy!
i realize this is an ages old lesson and it seems a bit silly for me to tout this program,but let's face it....at least more people are actually paying attention to this.i actually feel good about myself after watching one of these episodes.i realize that there really is more than what meets the eye.
i have always known that,as i try to see/find beauty in everything.for me,a person's beauty stems from who they are as a person.if they are good looking on the outside with a rotten personality...eeeeeh,not so good looking anymore.i want to believe most people,especially the intellegent ones are like this, but sadly it is nto the case. i've almost found that my more intellegent friends(some of which,in society's mind may not be so so attracticve)are even more shallow than i ever could have thought.it's sickening.
i am a victim of being shallow as well.mine comes in the form of thinking that if i look a certain way,then shallow people will find me attractive.to me,it's a form of be being shallow.i want to lose some extra weight,but mostly it's because i plan amazing outfits in my head that i would liek to wear in real life...i should probably learn to sew to accomplish this....oooh,i'm rambling
not to sound like a song by another pop artist i am not a fan of, but there is beauty everywhere.i applaud the people who look for it,find it,and embrace it.i am humbled to have such stunningly amazing friends.i look at each one and am in awe of the presence they each have.to me,every one of my friends is lovlier than a rose.and they smell even sweeter.i am proud of them for being beautiful in their own ways,with their individual quirks and talents,and for embracing me,idiosyncrasies and all.
now when i see myself,it is not with a smirk,but with a smile....
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