shmoo

i am bursting.i had heard about the shmoo from a friend i went to high school with...for some reason,i remembered the name yesterday...i am beyond familiar with al capp,but never really read his comics...although had i been more familiar with them,the fact that my grandfather used to tell people he was from "lower slabovia" would have made more sense(it's a "lil' abner reference")...anyway,i looked up the entire history of the shmoo and am in love.i want to ask my grams if i can order the book(i can tell her believeably that since it is an allegorical story,it will completely pertain to any philosophical higher learning i plan on persuing)...

i just really had to share with my blog+fan club.

i behold thee to a standard that is fit for the heavens...

okay,i have something to admit(partially)...i sparingly watch television at it's regular hours(although i am now a huge fan of "parenthood",but that shall come later),and usually watch it as a time killer or as a means to get me to go to bed.i do like television shows,don't get me wrong.i just watch those on my own time and generally over the summe rin the form of boxed sets.anyway...

there is a show on a network made for cable that is a reality/documentary show.it is hosted/created by and stars a particular "musician/celebrity" that i do not endorse or enjoy very much.the reason i shamefully yet shamlessly watch this program is due to the subject matter....it is a show that chronicles the concept of beauty throughout the world(most of you have probably guessed the show and are sneering,please keep reading)

i am obsessed with beauty.when i say that, i don't mean that i am looking for the cheapest surgery or the latest fad diet to get me looking hollywood ready.what i mean is that i am obsessed with the concept and question of "what makes a person beautiful to another?" this fascinates me.i realize that what i find beautiful to me is not always the case with another.and i am not just referring to humans-clothing,art,music,puppies,the whole shebang!i do try to take care of myself, as i do believe in the "healthy body,healthy attitude,healthy life" mantra.i take good care of my skin, but that is mostly because it is important to treat your body every now and again...i eat moderately well and healthy,and i do try to exercise, although years of not doing so and having a lazy constitution have taken their tolls...

this brings me back to my fascination with this show.i like that it is program on a mainstream network that at least shows people living in a shallow box that beauty comes from all over the world and is in many shapes,sizes, and colors...i love hearing about rituals and outfits and customs from afar.i want to visit these places and see what other people see,feel what they feel,bask in their energy!
i realize this is an ages old lesson and it seems a bit silly for me to tout this program,but let's face it....at least more people are actually paying attention to this.i actually feel good about myself after watching one of these episodes.i realize that there really is more than what meets the eye.

i have always known that,as i try to see/find beauty in everything.for me,a person's beauty stems from who they are as a person.if they are good looking on the outside with a rotten personality...eeeeeh,not so good looking anymore.i want to believe most people,especially the intellegent ones are like this, but sadly it is nto the case. i've almost found that my more intellegent friends(some of which,in society's mind may not be so so attracticve)are even more shallow than i ever could have thought.it's sickening.

i am a victim of being shallow as well.mine comes in the form of thinking that if i look a certain way,then shallow people will find me attractive.to me,it's a form of be being shallow.i want to lose some extra weight,but mostly it's because i plan amazing outfits in my head that i would liek to wear in real life...i should probably learn to sew to accomplish this....oooh,i'm rambling

not to sound like a song by another pop artist i am not a fan of, but there is beauty everywhere.i applaud the people who look for it,find it,and embrace it.i am humbled to have such stunningly amazing friends.i look at each one and am in awe of the presence they each have.to me,every one of my friends is lovlier than a rose.and they smell even sweeter.i am proud of them for being beautiful in their own ways,with their individual quirks and talents,and for embracing me,idiosyncrasies and all.

now when i see myself,it is not with a smirk,but with a smile....

lights!camera!.....agencies?

so today in acting,we read from scenes from "revolutionary road".our instructor told us to make sure to dress 50's(hence the hair)...from our auditions,the top 4 girls and guys would be picked by the directing classto be shot...anyone not picked is filmed by maria,our instructor..in addition,we also had our headhsots taken today...double the nerves,double the...fun?

well,jade and i were the only two to really pull it together 50's steezy.we felt a tad silly.she pulled out an awesome audition...i actually thought i did rather well,but alas,was not picked by the directors.oh well.

however,i was relived that the headshots went better than expected.also,i met with maria to go over my progress.she had very positive things to say,and let me know that 1)i should go into theatre because i have a knack and 2)to please sign with an agency because i am ready to go.i am humbled.

....must..practice..lines...

not only do i have "revolutionary road",but i also have a scene from "pulp fiction" to memorize..eeep!

a brief conversation with neanderthals

this is a photo of a very nice kleenex box....this box inspired this conversation at the grocer:

bagger (middle aged woman)-my, what a nice pattern!

cashier (young male)-yeah, it looks like ed hardy's artwork!

bagger-oh, is his artwork popular?

cashier-definitely, i mean, i can get his stuff for cheap at ross, normally it's like a hundred bucks!

bagger-are these lithographs or original prints?

cashier-i don't think he makes lithographs, but at ross you get originals!

bagger-well, i am glad the youth of today knows about art...do you know who this artist is, sweetie?: looks to me:

me-he designs gaudy tee shirts that aren't even worthy of carrying the name art.i'd rather be in a room of nagel prints for eternity.good day!


...really?ed hardy,oh,i'm sorry."don" ed hardy isn't even an artist!!!his brilliant designs are done by one christian audiger who is so greasy looking,he makes john galliano look like a well manicured man...although,it should be noted,galliano can design)cone bras cicra 1994,anyone?)i just really hope that remark wasn't meant to engage me,since like hairgel and affliction shirts,ed hardy also extablishes assholes from a mile away(1/3 of this joke is stolen from demetri martin,which in turn is probably stolen from the spirit of mitch hedberg{rip})

i realize i may not be one to bag on the fashions of others,since generally i can be found in tee shirts and jeans,but ed hardy?really?tiger/wolf/lion shirt motifs are only acceptable if they are tacky zoo souvenir shirts or clearly someone else's tacky zoo souvenir shirt.

...i do have a zoo pass...hmmm...

it conquers all,it is in the air we breathe,we want it even if we lose it,it turns a sane person mad,and yet it is all we need

it's love.the other day in humanities, our prof started asking us all questions about this concept...it stemmed from beginning to learn about the romantics,and what really constituted romantic love..unfortunatel,he tried calling on me to answer the question "can one find love on this school campus?is it possible to meet your soulmmate at a college such as the one we attend?"...i answered very basically that love is everywhere,and is found in the most unexpected places...i had so so much more to contriubute to this topic.i wish we had talked more, but i have a very non participating class....i don't think the concept or the idea of romantic love has left society,but i do however thinkthat the subjective idea of what is romantic has changed.i think it's become more tailor made and personal.one student referred to candle light dinners...now see,i don't want that.for one thing, that's a fire hazard.for another,i'm just really not into candle lit dinners.although,you'd think i would be,since candle light is one of the more flattering lighting sources...i'm getting off topic..what i wanted to pose as a question to the class(but didn't)was this:if we surveyed every girl in the room,how many of them would share the idea of what a perfect date(preferably first)would be like?i would have been very interested in hearing the girls tell their versions of realistic first date ideas,then survey the guys and compare and contrast.i think as society has broadened,so have not only oppourtunities with love,but creativity in expressing a want to share/begin/confront/entertain the idea of love...

(oh,for the record,my ideal realistic first date could go north or south...)
*north would involve a wonderfully musiical road trip to la,where we would visit a museum for a few hours,maybe have a snack,drive and walk down melrose maybe and try on silly vintage frocks before having dinner at somewhere really romantic...like roscoe's house of chicken and waffle!...then if i'm lucky we go to the argyle or some other swanky theatre for an awesome movie(not before stopping off at amoeba first of course)and then getting a bite at swinger's..or cupcakes....

*south would also involve a musical road trip,this time to san diego for a picnic in the glorious sprwaling balboa park.this one would involve a walk around the park,possibly a trip into one of their museums(if i was really lucky it would involve the neighboring zoo!)and then a small drive up to hilcrest where we could peruse shops,maybe go into the 2nd hand bookstore...and then have dinner at the lovely pizza fusion..but we won't get too full because then we'll drive down to the gaslamp district,walk around,and totally pig out on sundaes at ghirardelli's...

i have a feeling that what i think is a really low key fun day date would probably intimidate and scare the crap out of every guy in the universe.i just feel that maybe dates should be a little more creative than "dinner and a movie"...i live in southern california,and although even i complain there isn't a ton to do in my area,these at least offer a wider span of options,no?




...all this talking about "love" got me going off on tangents.sure,i've been in love before,and yes,i had a relationship one many many moons ago...but how then does mutual attraction really work?i seem to understand it when it applies to two other people,but somehow i haven't honed down the "mutual" aspect of attraction when it comes to me.i think that may be true of most people though,which is why a lot of people are oblivious when someone does in fact like them.i am regarded (by some)to be a romantic cynic.i think i am less cynical and more realistic about things,and that realism makes people think i am nonchallant about the concept of love.it's quite untrue.i do,however have about 22 out of my nearly 27 living years experience in love/lust/platonic feelings/....i have been struggling with this concept since the day i met eric dubhorn in kindergarten!and since michael zoppi's greand rejection of my advnaces at the tender age of sevem,i have been trying to avenge younger anne's defeat.i don't think i'm doing too well,though.

i'm just really impatient.i am still reeling from my the third largest rejection in my life that occurred last year and have done a lot to work on myself(because obviously,somewhere along the line,awesome as i am,i need some work...did i mention i talk too much,which is an issue for most guy?).i'm just tired of interpreting the little coincedences that only mean something to me,tired of making incredibly strong platonic connections that don't seem to go anywhere.i think it's about time the universe owe me one and sends me a completely romantically unromantically inclined man.i think i deserve it.

i just want to believe i'm worth it.

computer lab rant

sitting in the computer lab,trying to not knock over anything...watching zoe(of zoe upside down fame)look at her facebook pictures...i probably should have gone to the village to watch andrew edit our scene...i would rather be surprised, though...especially since he added a gag reel mostly of me making faces at the camera whilst pretending to pick my nose.now i must prepare for a lesson in poe(complete with power point!) i need to figure out my birthday plans...

salutations and the like

i guess this is my first post.it won't be very exciting,as i am leaving in a few minutes...i guess this is just the test one,and hopefully my posts will become more and more interesting....