the love song of anne c banks

this is my new goal to partake in with zoe

hello,it's been awhile.i really haven't had much to blog about...maybe i can bullet point some highlights?

*school
*reading for school
*summer school registration
*school

...patterns are beginning to take over my life!

my birthversary is in two days.i am nervous with excitement.not over the prospect of getting older,but because it is the one day where i am completely okay with being self centered.my only goal is to make this birthday count.i let things get in the way of ruining this one day of unadultered selfishness,and i ruined it for a selfish reason,and misery ensued.that is not happening this year.



this is what love looks like in confectionary form.

what i want most this year is stability.i want the people who say they believe in me to stick by me so i can believe their words.i want to know what it is to be loved.oh wow,that sounded juvenile....okay,i'll settle for a pony!

(also,is it too wrong to hope for a decent date with someone that isn't one of my gal pals?i love them dearly and i love that they get me,but seriously...i need a man.)

here's to eating peaches,coffee spoons,rolled trousers,michelangelo,mermaids,lady's arms,rambling and forgetting where you are in a story,and not meaning that at all!

new beginnnings?

....so this is what i've been working on looking like for the past year or so....





the other day,my gramma decided i would get an early birthday present!i have been planning on donating my hair, but was not sure when it would happen....



good bye, tresses!



....hello,you saucy minx with the raspberry do,you!

i am please.amused one would even say.this weight of the hair being off me is also purely metaphorical.after my last blog post, i was messing around with a friend writing emerson quotes back and forth and stumble don one regarding one's worth.it makes me happy that ralph waldo and i are on the same page.

slowly,gradually,i'm getting better at that whole "self realization" shebang.i recently saw a dear old friend that i met when i went to italy fresh out of high school.she helped me open myself up and let loose(but not go wackadoodle crazy) and discover who i wanted to be.seeing her again reminded me of how i used to be,and how i have come a long way from that person.

i just hope i keep going!

and all the rest

man alive it's been a boring weekend.

calculating your worth is a really tricky thing.my birthday is coming up,and usually i go a little invite crazy.i generally feel bad if i don't include people, and therefore i invite a lot of people.last year, about twenty people showed up at my house.all my friends,acquaintances,etc.it was fulfilling that so many people wanted to come celebrate with me(or eat free food)...but i felt that because there were so many people,and of different interests it was a little strained to make connections with everyone.this year i went sensible.and the results are a tad interesting.

i am the easiest person to befriend.i get along with nearly anyone(so long as they have some sense of intelligence and are not a flaming racist among other things)...unfortunately,i also serve as the wet blanket of all my friends.you know what i'm referring to.i'm that friend.the one that reminds you of all your tasks,calls when you need a wake up call, and is also the friend you call when all your other friends can't do anything with you.that's me for a majority of people i've "befriended" over the years.i also have a difficult living situation that prevents me from going places and at hours when it's more convenient for others.i struggle to determine whether i have any friends i can really count on.

that brings us to this year.this was a good year for friends.if one was to look at the people i've decided to invite to my birthday....cassie and robyn would be the only people i was friends with last year...i have made some really strong bonds this year.i still struggle with knowing how much they appreciate my presence,but i think i am finally seeing that i am capable of having relationships with people.

...in order to get me to this point,i should explain that i have never...ever...ever had great self esteem.i didn't think anyone deserved to be my friend(this includes faint of intellect and blatant bigots) because i had nothing to offer.it's still a learning process,but i am at least at the point where i can recognize that yes, i do have good qualities.how i got here is a totally other story.

all i can say is that the bonds we make with people are only as strong as we are as people.if we are weak of spirit, then we will view our friendships as weak.so stay strong,see not only the good in others,but in yourself...i guarantee, you are worth it!(except you,racists and ignorant beings..you're kind of hopeless)

smirkday

i would just like to say that i make amazing mixes of the musical variety.currently blogging to the tune of "ode to lrc"by that loverly band of horses...yesterday proved to be an incredibly amazingly eye opening day.rekindled a friendship,strengthened another,tested a budding one,and forged a partnership.all with different people.yesterday's events inspired my goings on for today.zoe(of zoe upside d o w n fame),her man matt,and i had lunch and went into aaron brothers,where i was inspired to really hone my crafting hobby.i decided that it would be a lot more intimate and memorable if i annemade my birthday invites to my friends.i sat down and decided i wanted a failry small group of people attending....and i went to a different aaron brothers today and bought the necessary supplies! i want to post them, and will identify some of the receipiants....i won't reveal the invites of those who are invited and read my blog,secrecy is key!haha....let's see if i'm savvy enough to get this to work...hmmm..



this is for my jadey jade jade because someday she'll be a star...



this is ryan's...i know he "follows" my blog,but quite frankly,i don't think he reads it,he just joined to shut me up.he gets a fishie charm in memory of the poor lil' one we massacred at bcd...



robyn's!i know she reads this,too,but i know she's so busy there's no way she'll catch this on the weekend...



i think it's pretty clear that samson gets birthday invites with skeletons in it.and vintage ads..because he's a dandy,



this goes to a fellow blogger+reader.and i adore her.




another blogger+reader that i heart.i hope she likes this...



greg gets a hodgepodge...because,well...that's how we roll!



...and finally,my sassafrass'!(that would be cassie's)she gets the whimsy children because she is a bit whimsy herself...


i am so proud of these...i want to make more things!